Relationship Problems And How to overcome them

Introduction to the book and videos

This little ebook is a part of a self help program that uses videos and written material. The book complements the two videos in the video library and I would suggest using them together although it isn’t essential. Each stands on its own for use in its own right and you can choose what meets your own needs best. For now you are reading this so perhaps wait and see how it goes. The package is a good package and deliberately cheap, so you might want to go for that at some point. Otherwise you should be able to use the book and gain a great deal from the information within the pages.

In this day and age of stress, financial instability, threats to jobs as well as the normal problems we expect within relationships, relationship problems can very quickly get out of control. They can leave us not knowing what to do or how to get back on track once we have lost our way. Gaining some helpful tools is a start and a way forward. This little book will provide some very useful tools for you use and will hopefully help you get back on track with your relationship.

Shortly we will start addressing some of the issues that can become very problematic within a relationship. We will look at how particular problems can become toxic, and how to manage and overcome them. We will address the sometimes very dysfunctional behaviors that can contribute to the breakdown of relationships as well as looking at the emotions involved. If carried out in the spirit of this little book the techniques can work for you. The techniques are CBT techniques that are tried and tested and as with all of the CBT tools, they will work as long as you carry out the exercises. Don’t be put off by the size of the book, there are valuable tools inside each page, you just need to learn the techniques and put the tools into your own toolbox.
If you are visiting this site for self help, I would strongly recommend that apart from getting the related videos to this book, that you also watch again the first set of videos which contain the basic techniques for use here. Each video addresses different aspects of common relationship problems. The first set of videos and their related material lay the foundations for the work here, and the videos related to this book will give you some concrete solutions with which to successfully deal with your problems. All you have to do is follow the videos and this little book, and together with your partner carry out the homework.

One advantage of the site is that the videos give you the opportunity to repeat the exercises, repeat watching until you get a clear understanding of what it is that is being asked of you in terms of practicing the exercises. This is very useful because not only can you watch the videos as many times as you like, but you can watch them alone, your partner can watch them and you can watch them together as many times as you like. You can discuss them, and gain some common understanding together, all in the comfort of home and without time pressures, so there are very great advantages to learning in this sort of forum, even though this is not therapy.

What are the ingredients for a successful relationship?

A relationship is like making a cake. You have the recipe, all the right ingredients for the best tasting cake in the world, but if you don’t use the right amounts of ingredients, and don’t follow the instructions for a successful cake, it will fail. It might sag in the middle, or not taste right because some small things were not done as they should have been. You might have swapped ingredients, or left some out thinking it doesn’t matter, and that even without them the cake will taste the same, but something is wrong when you go to eat it to experience how good it is. It might look like a cake, be recognizable as a cake, but won’t be eaten because its ingredients and how they were put together was wrong. Mistakes were made, wrong judgments were made and not enough thought was put in as to how the cake will turn out if not made properly. So it is with a relationship. If you don’t get all the ingredients right, don’t do the things that are necessary for a relationship to be right, if you don’t even have the right ingredients, and if you don’t put a lot of loving care into it, it too will also fail.

Hopefully you are reading this little book because you don’t want your relationship to fail and you want to learn how to put things right between you and your partner. In the following pages and in the videos you will learn about the techniques that will give you the tools to ensure your relationship begins to blossom.
I begin with helping you define the problem by looking at a list of questions deemed necessary for any good, flourishing and functional relationship. Next, is a list of necessary questions for you to ask yourselves about your own relationship. I have deliberately done it in this way as a stark reminder for you to test yourselves against. You might want to return to both lists quite frequently as reminders. The lists might well stop any complacency that is around, and help you both keep your eye on the ball. They also might remind you of your goals at times when and if you are feeling a little lost or get a little off track.